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  1. Hi
    Really weird how I came across your article. I have been struggling for a while mentally.. And I thought of the word that is most important to me and LOVE came in my mind.. So I thought to find myself again I need to focus on this word for now.. However what I felt when I thought of that is the strong love I have for my boys that my heart breaks that I had to separate from them last couple of years.. As I am writing this tears are streaming down my face.. However my kids are all grown up now and independent but still the guilt of losing last couple of years not being with them as I went away to recover.. And they all were happy to let me go actually it was my son’s idea and he went with me but the other 2 stayed behind due to thier study.. I don’t know how to get past this guilt.. Although boys have never made me feel guilty and they still love me and have so much respect for me and I think I have done a good job being a single mum and struggling with my own illness however I never neglected them.. And now that I am back I am going to be living with my sons as they are renting a place.. They always tell me that I shouldn’t feel guilty but I just can’t get past it.. After reading your article I realised that I didn’t include myself in that word love.. And yes I have always put others needs first always and thats why i feel lost.. Your article makes so much sense.. Thank you God bless you..

    1. Hi Shobha, thank you for popping by and sharing your experiences with us.

      Wow, what a story! I can only imagine the kind of heartbreak you’ve had to endure in order to get to where you are now. It’s not easy in the slightest!

      However, I ask you to take heart and consider how important your recovery is, not just for yourself but for your children too – regardless of their age. It’s a beautiful lesson to teach them that we each matter. Our health matters – whether it’s physical, emotional or mental health.

      If you’re struggling with strong feelings of guilt and you can’t quite let it go (I do know that particular feeling), I always recommend immersing yourself in a self-love practice.

      Have you tried Lisa Nichols’ Discover Your Worthiness Meditation?

      For more in-depth info on what self love is and its importance, please check How Do You Love Yourself, Let Me Count The Ways: The Ultimate Guide to Self-Love.

      And, if you have the chance, I would speak with a medical professional to rule out any mental health diagnosis (such as depression, anxiety or PTSD).

      Good luck on your journey!


  2. Hi there,

    You made me remember so vividly my little child who I had to leave in India when she was only 15 months old. She was not speaking to tell me how she feels. But I was certain she will be taken care of well. 

    I tried every odd to help her. She was a beautiful and well behaved and very happy kid. The only problem and a big one, she did not want to stay in a day care or a baby sitter. I feel guilty up until now when she is in late twenties doing very well.

    All these tips you have penciled was not with me then. Yes I was tired, could not stay home for her to enjoy those special moment to see her growing.

    This is a serous problem of the current society that you have tactically addressing. Thank you for that. I will stay in touch with your site.

    Do I have a tip? That will possibly be a tip which I have not practiced.

    Hire a nanny where your kid can stay comfortably if you both must have to work. 

    1. Anusuya, that must’ve been difficult for you. I used to work on a cruise ship and so many parents were there for months at a time, trying to make life better for their children. Their hearts break every time they have to leave. I wish you all the best and hope things are much much better for you now. 

  3. Hi,

    Thanks a lot for sharing such a wonderful article self-care strategies for parents. I totally agree with you, as a parent, to look after our children, most of the time we forget ourselves. And this is going to be harder for new parents. I believe personally parental responsibility is very challenging if we couldn’t manage well. This challenge is going to be in every stage in parental life. When a child is born, there is one type of challenge and by the time they start growing there is another type of challenge.

    I really love your article because this will be helpful for us as parents either for new or for growing children parents not only for look after their children but how we could follow some strategies for our self-care which most of the time we forget.

    1. Thank you, Nazmun. We need to remember that we matter too and we can only react with grace when our own cups are full. 🙂

  4. As a parent, I can tell you it’s not an easy task. A lot has to go into taking care of the children and also taken care of one’s self too. Self-care is really important else one can wear out. For me, I just try to listen to good music and take a walk drawing in all the good views I can see alone of course probably when the kid is asleep. It’s very very important too.

    1. Hi Henderson, yes. Parenting is no easy task at all! A walk – I used to go for long walks but now all I want to do is curl up in bed with a good book. I must be getting old haha

  5. I enjoyed your article and it takes me back to when my 42-year-old son was just born. I remember my wife holding him in the passenger seat and I was driving home at about 10 miles per hour. My wife said, “he’s going to be in college by the time we get him home if you don’t speed up!”

    From the very beginning, I thought he would simply break if we were not careful. I guess that’s what new dads think.

    And talk about being tired. My wife got up for the 3 a.m. feeding shortly after we brought our demanding boy home and something made me wake up. It was so quiet. I walked into the living room and they were both sound asleep. One of my wife’s hands was clutching one of his feet as they both slept as he hung from her lap with his head toward the floor. The bottle lay on the floor beside her.

    I often think about that and the mother’s instinct not to let him go no matter how tired she was.

    1. Ray, her comment cracked me up. He’s going to be in college by the time we get him home is a winner! 

      And what a sweet story. She must’ve been truly exhausted. Good for you for actually getting up to check on her. 

      It’s amazing how they stay babies even when they’re fully grown. 

      Thank you for sharing your experience.

  6. Another great article thank you. You make a great point in that a lot of times when parents get really fed up with their child and take it out on their child the fact is that really their own needs are not being met like self care, getting enough rest, And so on. I think realizing that makes you a very good parent and anytime I hear that there is a good parent being conscious like you are it makes me feel hopeful about things.

    It looks like you are right where you’re supposed to be with everything. It’s good that you’re conscious of all these things. I think you are articles will help other parents to.

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Charles. It’s good to see this post resonating with so many other parents. Like you, it gives me hope for the future.

  7. Really beautiful couple. I loved the write up.

    I have always had the mindset that when one gets married and a child or two children or more get into the picture, you just end up losing yourself in them. And also that you’re now actually living for them.

    Your article has itemized various opportunities where we can care for our little tots and also care for ourselves.

    My favourite is playing with your kid(s). I love children and their smile and laughter is so charming and special. It brings me joy. You certainly don’t want them crying on end! lolz!

    Thanks K and J!

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