Suffering from a bad case of FOMO (AKA fear of missing out)? You need to stop and check out this list of the 20 things you need to give up now if you’re serious about upgrading your life.
If you’re like most people, then you probably think that there’s something missing in your life and that you need to add more to it to fill up the void. That’s not always the case and sometimes, being happy or living a blissful life is all about letting go and clearing out.
That’s exactly what you’re going to learn in this post.
Get these things out of your life and then watch your life take off. Seriously!
Imagine that you’re in a hot air balloon and you want to go as high as you can but you’ve got 30 sandbags weighing you down.
Where do you think you’ll go?
You can huff and puff as best you can but that balloon ain’t goin’ anywhere.
If your goal is to float about in the sky, you need to start dropping some of those sandbags. And the more you let go, the higher you’ll get.
Guess what? The principles that govern a hot air balloon also govern your life.
You can see the balloon.
You can’t see your inner life, which is exactly where many of your sandbags are.
Luckily, you can just read this post and find out what you need to do and how you can do it.
In my humble opinion, worrying is the most pointless exercise ever.
Remember, if there’s nothing you can do about it, there’s no point in worrying.
If you can do something about it, then why worry?
So, end it. It’s not always easy but there are some steps you can take that will help you kick this habit out of your life.
Another completely pointless exercise and one that I really don’t tolerate very well is complaining.
Really, what is the point of complaining at all?
Like Jack Canfield says, we only really complain about the things we can change but which, for some reason, we don’t.
If something is so bad that you feel the need to complain about it incessantly, then change it.
As the late Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t like where you live, move. You’re not a tree.”
PS. I’m not referring to venting, which is a completely different thing. If you’re experiencing really negative emotions and you need to let it out, then, by all means, vent to someone who would listen without judgement. This has another positive side-effect in that it helps you problem-solve and discover what you can do to resolve your issue.
Just remember that venting and complaining are two different kettles of fish and if you’ve been venting but instead of problem-solving, you’re wallowing in your negative emotions, then you’re not venting anymore. You’re complaining.
3. Caring about other people’s opinions.
I used to do this all the time.
Before I did something. Whilst I was doing something. After I’d done something.
I’d think about what other people could be thinking about whatever I was planning to do, already doing or have done.
The scene would replay in my mind over and over. And if I even have an idea that I could’ve done things differently or better, I’d beat myself up for it.
It’s no way to live and certainly not the way you want to go if you wish to live a blissful life.
Comparing steals your joy and breeds resentment.
I know this because I’ve been there.
I was forever comparing myself with others to the point that my accomplishments and attributes began to mean nothing.
Remember, the grass always seems greener in the other pasture, the sky bluer over another ocean.
There will always be someone bigger or better than you. And there will always be someone who has not attained the heights you have.
In the end, the only comparison worth making is comparing your present self with your past self.
And even that isn’t always a good idea.
After all, you can always change. You don’t need to stay the way you are. If you wanted to, you can redirect your life.
So, what is the point of comparing?
5. Mindless spending.
Shopping because you’re bored out of your wits will soon see you neck-deep in debt.
Actually, you don’t have to be bored to end up there, you just need to be mindless at spending.
We’ve all heard stories of that insanely rich person who still end up with a repossessed house because s/he couldn’t keep up with the repayments.
Money is a grand thing to have and it is infinite.
But if you let it flow through your fingers unchecked, you will run out.
Trust us, being in debt is not fun. Life without money is a lot more stressful.
So yes, enjoy today but also plan for the future.
6. Not having a list of goals.
If you don’t know where you want to go, you’ll never get there.
Ever heard that?
That’s not just a trite saying.
That’s not us trying to be profound.
Going through life without a goal is like trying to buy a plane ticket without a destination in mind. It’s not happening.
You want a blissful life?
Create a list of goals.
Short-term goals. Long-term goals. You need both.
Realistic goals. Out-of-this-world goals. You also need both.
Stop shortchanging yourself.
If you want something but you can’t accept it because “it’s not realistic”, you’ve already lost the game.
Write down everything you can think of.
Ever heard of a vision board? Think it’s too woo-woo for you?
What have you got to lose?
7. Being a fashion slave.
Buying clothes because you want to look good or because you love whatever it is you’re buying is one thing.
Buying something just because Kim Kardashian wore it (never mind that you know it makes you look 30 years older – and not in a good way) is something else entirely.
Who cares what other people are wearing (or not wearing, as the case may be)?
You do you.
8. Obsessing over social media.
Don’t you just hate it when you scroll through your Facebook feed and watch everybody living perfect lives whilst you’re scrambling to get yours on track?
Well, I’ll tell you a secret.
There’s no such thing as perfect lives because there’s no such thing as perfect people.
We all just do the best we can with the information we have.
And those photos, videos and events we keep uploading? The ones that look so perfect?
For most people, they’re just a way of celebrating the good things that happen in their lives.
So, celebrate other people’s success. We all deserve it!
9. Getting more of everything just for the sake of it.
More doesn’t necessarily mean better.
Remember that the more “stuff” you have, the more responsibility you have.
You might think owning three gorgeous houses would be a fantastic achievement – even though you only ever really live in one – but remember that you’d be responsible for the upkeep of all three.
Do you really want to spend so much time managing three houses, two of which you don’t have any use for?
10. Being too nice.
Setting boundaries is so difficult sometimes, isn’t it?
You just want people to be sensitive enough to the fact that maybe, you don’t want them coming over when they’re drunk out of their minds. Or that you’d really like it if they kept their insensitive commentary on your weight to themselves.
But guess what?
Some people just don’t know how to respect other people’s boundaries.
Some people don’t even know where the boundaries are.
That’s why you need to teach them. How?
Show them how you wish to be treated.
Tell them when they’re about to cross a limit and then call them out on it if they do.
This is just like raising a child (also not a walk in the park).
You lead by example.
11. Allowing other people to make you feel small.
This is connected with number 10 and simply means that, in the end, you’re responsible for your own feelings.
The unpopular truth is: No one can make you feel bad except yourself.
If I tell you that you’re the laziest person ever and you know 100% that this isn’t true, then you won’t feel small. I won’t even make a dent in your self-esteem.
Because security is a very strong shield.
But it requires complete faith and love of self.
Otherwise, you’ll feel a sting.
In other words, if I tell you that you’re the laziest person I’ve ever met, you’ll only feel bad if, deep-down, you think I might be right.
12. Expecting the worst – all the time.
Expect the worst, hope for the best, take whatever comes.
It’s a pretty nifty saying and probably, even effective – in the right situations.
The problem is, most people start expecting the worst of everything, all the freaking time.
It’s difficult to let go of too.
Remember that thoughts are energy and energy is creative.
Guess what happens to your thoughts, your energy and your life when you expect the worst to happen all the time?
Yep, it’s a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Cultivate the faith that life will work out the way you want it to.
Mind work, my friend. It all starts in the brain.
In fact, if you have a tendency to pessimistic thinking, you might want to bypass your brain when it’s awake and start working with it when you’re asleep – less mind chatter and you don’t end up arguing with yourself.
As far as I know, you can only currently do that with subliminal or hypnosis. Real Subliminal’s Attitude of Gratitude audio is one super effective way to help you get started.
13. Staying angry.
Getting angry, like all feelings, is inevitable.
Staying angry is a conscious choice.
According to Psychology Today, “the body takes about 20 minutes to return to normal after a full fight/flight response.”
So, if you’re angry (or experiencing full-on rage), you can expect for the feeling to last about this long before it starts to subside.
If you’re still angry after that time, you’re now choosing anger.
What’s wrong with that, you say.
Well, when you choose to stay angry, not only do you choose to experience the physical manifestations of the feeling (the racing heart and sweaty palms, for example). You also focus on what made you angry in the first place, making conflict resolution highly unlikely.
Sometimes, you think staying angry feels good and you choose it to punish the person you’re angry with.
But, the truth is, this never works.
it’s like you drinking a bottle of cyanide and then hoping the other party will get poisoned.
It’s illogical and counter-productive.
14. Running from your emotions.
Whilst I highly recommend moving away from stewing in anger, that doesn’t mean that you should ignore all negative emotions.
That may be oh-so-tempting but actually, that has serious side effects on your mental health.
Yes, negative feelings can be uncomfortable. Heck, sometimes, it’s just downright painful but there’s a reason you’re feeling the way you do.
Did you know that when you ignore your negative emotions, they don’t actually go away?
They fester like wounds and usually end up sabotaging you, your decisions and your life.
The best way to handle all that “stuff” is not to hide them but to uncover their root cause and then address that.
Just this one step alone will help you feel a lot free-er, more hot air balloon-y.
15. Keeping the people who pull you down in your inner circle.
We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
That’s what every single successful person says.
So, if a blissfully successful life is your main goal, you might want to limit the influence your uncle has if he’s got the tendency to shoot your dreams down (and the sad inability to control his mouth or respect your boundaries).
I’m obviously not telling you that you should cut people off or end some relationships (because there are other elements to success but, it might sometimes be best if you did cut off some really toxic people…only you can tell, really).
What I am telling you is to be conscious of the time you spend with people you don’t really want to influence your life and see what you can do to improve that.
16. Power struggles.
Do you want to be right or do you want to get the other person to do what needs to be done?
Yes, they were dead wrong and you were satisfyingly right.
But really, what’s the point?
Getting into power struggles and then flaunting your righteousness and authority over someone is counterproductive.
Because when you make someone wrong (even if they really, truly are), you also make them more entrenched in their previous beliefs.
They are far less likely to want to cooperate with you because their pride (very important to everyone) has been dented.
Admit it, you’d do the same.
It starts early in life, too. Just ask any parent.
17. Trying to do everything yourself.
No man is an island, remember?
Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.
This is immediately obvious when we’re talking about business.
Imagine yourself as a startup. You have the choice to do the copywriting yourself or to hire a copywriter.
If you don’t hire a copywriter, you’ll be using the time you can use networking and marketing – (AKA where the money is). For every hour that you’re writing, you could be selling a £75 product.
If you hire a copywriter, you’ll have plenty of time to sell that product but you’d be paying the copywriter a salary of about £25 per hour.
What would you do?
That thinking applies to everyone and everything.
Working from home (at a rate of £20 per hour) and struggling with housework?
Should you hire a cleaner who’ll do it for £11 per hour or DIY it?
What do you think?
Give up that cycle of dieting, gaining weight and dieting all over again.
It doesn’t work.
You know it doesn’t work.
And it just makes you feel lousy – so lousy.
If you’re concerned about your weight, speak with a nutritionist and eat well.
Unless of course, you have a medical condition, in which case, forget what I said and do what the medical professionals said.
19. Obsessing over external validation.
I loved university because I always got top marks.
Well, guess what happened when I graduated?
Because life doesn’t give you any marks.
Did I learn my lesson? Of course not. I went back to university for another year to get a Master’s Degree.
Then back out I went and again, struggled because the external validation I was looking for didn’t exist.
The only validation you need is the one you give yourself.
By loving yourself and realising that actually, you are perfect just the way you are.
Ugh, don’t. Just don’t.
Aim for the stars – all the way.
Don’t be in a relationship with that person that mistreats you because there’s no one else.
Don’t give up painting because it doesn’t pay the bills.
Find a way to keep going. There’s always at least one.
And if you find your way blocked, don’t up and leave. Keep the destination in mind and then move. Move sideways, move forwards, move back a few steps and then move forward again.
It doesn’t matter how fast or how slow you are as long as you keep going towards your goal.
Remember: you only ever really fail the day you quit.
And there you have it, the 20 things you need to give up now if you really want to live a blissful life.
As I mentioned before, more doesn’t always mean better.
You don’t need to cram so much stuff in your life for it to be a happy, blissful life.
Let some things go.
Clear those that no longer serve you.
Give up who you are for who you might become.
Drop those sandbags and fly high.
What about you? Which of these 20 things have you already released? And why? Share your experiences with us and leave them in the comments section below.