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  1. Thank you very much for such a great article. The article is very interesting and made to remember some people who I didn’t like to remember. For sure I would like to forgive and forget everything about them but I don’t feel strong too. Some people do things carelessly and they end hurting others to an extent that they won’t forget. This article made me give it a second thought so I may forgive those who I didn’t like to.

    1. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

      It’s extremely hard to do and I’m honestly working hard on this particular part of myself. Good luck and I hope you go through the process of letting go with ease. 🙂

  2. I believe, that by holding grudges,we hurt ourselves, far more than we hurt the other person,most of the time, they have moved on, and can’t remember the problem.

    Also having been hurt, by someone else’s lack of consideration,is not always deliberate,but most of the time,forgetfulness,or carelessness,we have to forgive them,and just to let the incident go.

    To be happy, we need to have a positive attitude,towards others,and have self control,and learn to forgive them, and to carry on living joyfully,as if there had been no incident.

    Stress causes ulcers,and high blood pressure,which in turn leads us to sickness,and depression,which we don’t need.

    1. I agree, Robert. In fact, I think someone famous (can’t remember who) said something about holding grudges as being akin to drinking poison just to hurt someone else. Never mind that you’re the one experiencing the pain.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. 🙂

  3. Hi, thanks for your post. Herein, I find out the answer why should we say goodbye to our past. All of us are surrounded by our past incident, we are depressed about it. Sometimes people got stuck on their past.  They can’t ever forget it.

    The reason for our animosity that I have come know by reviewing your post. Purpose in the back of each animosity,
    we keep in our mind of anyone’s behavior which against us. It doesn’t concern us about the cause or severity. Because we continually believe we are inside the proper in any war of words. But how do we keep control of our grudge? Keep claim our mind as well as go far away from our past? Thanks for your nice sharing.

    1. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. 

      Letting go is so difficult for most people. We keep holding on and on. The memories seem to be stuck, the more negative they are.

      There are many ways to let go (and this deserves a post all its own) but some really cathartic ones are journaling, meditation, acupressure/acupuncture, EFT.

      I hope that helps. 🙂

  4. I do hold grudges too and I learn later in life that it is not healthy for me. I spent too much energy on being angry and that is just not healthy. It is just like the post says, I do have more important thing to focus in my life rather than being angry over something nonsense. Letting bygone be bygone indeed 🙂

  5. hello Dani;
    I find your post very interesting. I did not have a hard time forgiving each time I was hurt by a friend or a brother, but I just dramatically experienced the consequences of resentment in the lives of some people who were close to me .
    I was able to find solace and reassurance in meditation and instrumental practice and that’s what I share with my little family, accepting excuses and knowing how to say sorry is the key to happiness thanks.

  6. This is a beautiful article about forgiveness.  You have laid out the benefits of “not holding grudges” and the problems caused by holding onto them.  The article is orderly, well written and very pleasant to read.  I think that we, because we have been socialized to protect ourselves for life and often other people, getting upset with things is comes easily.  So we are upset because of something that has happened and unforgiving because we have gotten upset.  We just have to stop. Your article has said that very well.

    1. Hi, Anastazja thank you for comment. Yes, I think she wrote the post beautifully and I’m glad you find it relevant. 🙂

  7. Wow, a no nonsense, hard hitting, straight to the point, no frills post. Thanks to Dani for this and for letting her ply her trade so well. Have to admit I was a grudge bearer of the first order. Not only that, I would hand myself my own backside when other people did not act, or be, how I thought they should. Bottom lip out and proper strop on ensued.

    I’m not sure when it changed but it did and now I am free from that particular monkey on my back. That fact the brain can only focus on one thing at a time has helped. If those ‘bad’ thoughts happen to rear their heads then I immediately spot them and chnage my internal subject. I also reassure myself that the other person will not be giving me a second thought, so why should I let them have power over me. I would prefer to live in a stress free zone, thank you.

    1. I love the way you put this. I was also the same way and it’s sometimes a struggle to make sure I don’t keep doing it, especially now that I have a 3.5-year-old who copies everything I do.

      Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

  8. Hi Kevin & Jade,

    I really enjoyed reading Dani’s article about letting bygones be bygones. Having said that its easier said than done and often it can be hard to forgive and forget. Which of the books you have recommended would you try first in order to help? Your advice would be much appreciated. Regards, Andrew

    1. Hi Andrew, if I had to choose one to read just now, I would go with Take Your Life Back. I’d read the book first – quickly, without doing anything. And once that’s done, I’d read it again but this time more slowly, taking the time to implement what it says and also answer the questions on the workbook.

      It’s a gamechanger.

  9. Thank you so much for this inspiring articles. The stress that I built up (because of so many things that I dislike in my life) for some times has accumulated enough to make me almost breakdown. I have been reading several articles including yours, and I start to get some ease. Accepting myself is really the starting key controlling stress and live a better life. Thanks again for posting Dani’s story here, I’ll make sure to check her blog.

  10. Great article. Concise to the point and accurate. Anger and grudges is what holds a lot of us back in life.

    I believe that you are limiting yourself if you can’t get over disagreements in life. Sure sometimes you want to punch someone in the face. We have all been there .
    However you are limiting your potential if you cannot let bygones be bygones.

    You have to find the self control to just allow things to be and to try and see the bigger picture.

    Don’t get me wrong , it is very difficult to achieve and easier said than done.

    We are all searching for success in life and by dwelling on things , all we are doing is holding ourselves back.

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