How To Move On After A Life-Changing Event: 4 Questions You Need To Answer Now
Discover how to move on after a life-changing event, such as a global pandemic.
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“How do you pick up the threads of an old life,” wrote Frodo Baggins, “how do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back?” How do you move on after a life-changing event? Ami Lloyd writes that, like an unfurling rosebud, you have the power to unfurl the petals of a new life.
Ami Lloyd is a certified life coach who helps women learn to trust their intuition and halt the hustle in their lives.
When the pandemic was announced in the United States, I thought life would get back to normal within a couple of weeks after social distancing and the shelter in place order had expired.
I was wrong. That was March. Here we are, at the beginning of June, and we are still adhering to the same recommendations despite some industries reopening. I’ve spent some time in personal reflection since then.
How to move on #1: Accept all emotions.
I grieved.
I grieved the losses. The loss of the freedom of going to my favorite department store or movie theater, of seeing and hugging my friends, of meeting colleagues for coffee and social outings.
I mourned my inability to visit my parents, which I did quite frequently. I’ve seen them in person once and that was to deliver groceries.
To let go of my grief, I allowed it to cycle through me.
How to move on #2: Be in the moment.
I realized that if I was present, if I was in the moment, I could find meaning and joy.
So, I looked at the schedule that I kept and reworked it to reflect the life I was living. I changed my exercise routine and the time of day to include my family. I found I was scattering meditation throughout the day to combat anxiety and taking more frequent breaks during the day.
How to move on #3: Count your blessings.
As a Life Coach, I’ve worked with several of my clients to reclaim their lives and how to carve out time for exercise and self-care. That was pre-pandemic.
Since then, by virtue of the shelter in place order, we’ve found we have the time to incorporate them or other activities that previously our schedule would not allow. It seems we’ve uncovered an opportunity. All during this time of upheaval.
For the past few weeks we’ve discovered we had more time at our fingertips. Time to ourselves and with our loved ones. The schedule we ran our lives by was upended. The commute to work, mad dashes to appointments and transporting the kids to their activities had been halted.
We set up laptops and tablets to work from home to ensure virtual learning for the kids. We’ve gathered around the table for daily meals. We’ve pulled out dusty board games and watched movies. We’ve put miles under our feet as we took countless walks not only to get exercise but to remind ourselves that nature nourishes and replenishes our soul.
I know things are different for everyone, but I’ve personally discovered so much joy in the slowing down. I’ve rediscovered myself and have gotten to know my children and husband in a sweeter, unrushed way.
For the first time in a long time, I saw my family relaxed and rested.
Of course, for some, sheltering wasn’t a time of slowing down but of speeding up – lost jobs, strained relationships that broke under pressure, etc. Maybe for you, the sheltering order forced a change in circumstances that meant you had to hustle hard in order to survive.
A new world is truly forming all around us.
The vision we hold for our lives and businesses is changing and, in doing so, is requiring us to become more resourceful and creative.
In fact, I found that there are things and activities I can do without and improve the quality of my life as a result.
All of this leads me to this: How do you want to step into this new normal?
I believe the old normal we knew is a thing of the past. The choices we make now will create the new normal we’ll be living in.
The desires we have had for our lives that have yet to be realized are still there. Can we use this time to tap into them? What is holding us back from bringing them into fruition?
I’ve created some questions that may help you determine how you’ll craft your life moving forward.
What will you leave behind?
What activities, commitments and habits will you stop or reduce?
For example, were you overextending yourself in activities that kept you away from your family? Did your schedule prevent you from doing things you loved? What about obligations that served to keep everyone happy but you?
It seems I found myself dragging my feet to do the things I thought were necessary for my success. I thought I had abandoned the hustle culture but quickly realized I was still subscribing to some of the aspects of the rise and grind.
I looked very closely at those things that did not bring me joy and ditched them.
You get to choose. What you will leave behind?
What will you bring with you?
What insight or revelations have you experienced during this time at home?
Maybe you discovered you loved to cook and will continue to plan meals at home instead of picking up take-out. Perhaps you’ll incorporate evening walks as a family after dinner each day. Maybe you’ve decided that instead of participating in a summer travel team for your child, you’ll play in your backyard.
I’ve decided that my life is sweeter with less. Less shopping, less busyness and more connection.
I’m bringing more of what I love with me.
You get to choose. That’s where your power lies.
What do you want your new normal to feel like?
Do you want to feel more peaceful, intentional and present? Do you want to feel more connected to your friends and family?
Our feeling states create our circumstances. Therefore, to create a circumstance that allows more freedom in your life, you need to start by connecting to the feeling of being free.
To create a circumstance of abundance in your life, cultivate a state of what it feels like to be abundant.
The great news is that you’re in complete control of how you feel. So much of what we do is simply a reaction to our present reality. Being intentional with how we want to feel in the coming days and weeks is extremely important.
Take the time to set that intention now.
We all have an opportunity to step into our new normal with a different perspective and therefore the ability to choose how we will experience it and what we will do with what we’ve learned.
Never in my lifetime have I ever experienced anything close to what this pandemic has done to this world we live in. Physically, emotionally or spiritually.
Now, I realize, I have been given a glimpse into what could be. I have the power to choose and so do you.
Final thoughts on how to move on after a life-changing event
And there you have it: four questions you need to answer as you step into your new normal after such a life-changing event.
Share your vision of your new life by commenting below. And if you loved this post, please share on social media!
