What are Some Life Changing Events + Some Tips to Cope With Them
Trigger Warning: This post contains sensitive information. Reader’s discretion is advised.
What are some life-changing events?
Did something just happen that completely blindsided you? Turned your life upside down?
Or has something been going on that you were meant to prepare for, and you thought you were ready, only to find out when the time came that you really weren’t?
Were you preparing for a happy occasion only to be then dealt with bad news?
Or were you tearing your hair out in anxiety and then you receive the best news of your life?
Life, with all its ups and downs, is truly one of the greatest teachers.
Your negative experiences shape you just as much as your positive ones. It all depends on your perspective and how you view it.
You may have your whole life figured out. Then something happens and it redirects your path. You are pushed out of your comfort zone and forced to adapt.
We tend to confine ourselves within our comfort zone. It’s our safe place, our security blanket.
So it’s normal to feel afraid when faced with uncertainty. Your frustrations and concerns with a sudden path change are valid.
The good news is, there are ways to deal with this.
The reality is that change is actually the only thing that’s constant.
Learning how to adapt to change is important so that you don’t lose yourself. Being prepared for any change that can come can help you brace for impact and deal with overwhelming emotions or situations.
You may want to check out these self-esteem books for additional information and more ways on how to look after yourself as you grow and adapt throughout your life.
In the meantime, you may want to grab a light snack or a drink as you read this article. It’s a bit lengthy as I cover the most important life-changing events that could turn your world on its head.
Life changing events meaning: What is a major life-changing event? What kind of event may be life-changing events?
Have you ever had an encounter that shook you to your core? An event that led you to reevaluate and even change your perspectives?
If your answer is yes, then you have been through a life-changing event.
Life-changing events are occurrences that shift or change your pattern of living. These events have had a significant impact on you and shaped you into the person you are today.
Life-changing events can be positive or negative, or even both.
Their effect also depends on the perspective of the person going through the event.
For example, a divorce may be a negative experience for one and positive development for another.
The important thing is that you’re actually wanting to change from it. Dealing with these challenges and hurdles are the building blocks of self-growth.
Also, people react differently to situations. What may be a major life event to you, might not be to others.
Also, life changing events don’t all have the same outcomes.
You can either grow and learn from a specific event, or it can cause trauma and become some sort of burden in your life.
Finally, these life changing events can happen anytime and at any age – from the day you were born to your last day on Earth.
I’m certain you already have an idea in your head of some life changing events that you’ve encountered, or perhaps something you’re still waiting for – either in anticipation or dread.
Below is a list of life-changing events that affect the majority of us.
At the end of the day, what will happen will happen – regardless of our feelings about it.
Maybe you can’t help but feel left out because all of your friends are getting married while you’re still struggling to have a second date.
Or you were planning to get married only to find out that you have to cancel your wedding unexpectedly.
It’s tough.
How do you cope when life gives you lemons?
Keep on reading to find out.
Side Note: Below are examples of some life changing events. You may not experience all or most of them, or maybe your life changing event isn’t listed here.
However, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t life changing enough. If it made an impact on your growth and how you are today, then it was definitely a powerful life event.
Also, remember that life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon.
We all have our own pace and albeit difficult, comparing ourselves with other people (if done pretty often) can be detrimental to our success and growth.
Positive life-changing events
Positive life-changing events have an uplifting and restorative effect on you.
Looking back at these good memories gives you joy.
But, did you know that you can also feel stressed while going through positive life-changing events?
Yes, good stress is actually a thing. And it acts as a motivator for us and is thus very beneficial.
That said, it’s normal to feel uneasy or anxious about positive life-changing events because, interestingly enough, our brain responds to any kind of change with the same set of feelings.
Sometimes, even when we know we made the right choice, we can’t help but feel down or sad.
When this happens, instead of trying to fight the feeling, just let it be. Stop feeling guilty for going through your emotions. They are part of being human.
Feel your feelings. Allow them to wash over you without judgment.
Then, shift your focus to where you want to be.
Never feel guilty for your emotions. part of being human.
Negative life-changing events
Some memories make you feel miserable or downright furious.
They trigger physiological responses, like causing your heart to race, your muscles to tense, and your jaw to clench. The painful memories may be so powerful, it’s as if you’re living them all over again.
Sometimes, your brain may respond by actively blocking these negative events from your consciousness. Sometimes, you just try to stay away from them.
Trying to ignore it, as if it’s not there, doesn’t often work. ,
If an event was so traumatic that it severely affected your entire wellbeing – and the way you look at yourself and other people – you may need professional help.
Especially, if you end up regretting some of the choices you made in the past that led up to this specific event and self-blame is involved.
Again, these events can be anything as long as it impacts you negatively.
Denial, guilt, and shame are present and constantly lingers in your thoughts.
It’s hard to fight them off especially if you’re dealing with this alone.
Maybe it sounds cliché, but remember that there’s always a way out of this, and I’m not talking about shrugging it off and pretending you’re happy all the time.
That’s toxic positivity that doesn’t always work. In this case, faking it until you make it may make things worse.
The truth is, everyone has experienced at least one negative life changing event in their lives, and that’s not to invalidate anyone’s struggles. However, it puts you in a perspective that deep down, we’ve all got hurt and pain and a lot of baggage.
The feeling of being alone is valid, but when shifting to a different point of view, you actually begin to realize you’re not alone after all.
Don’t be afraid to seek help.
Believe it or not, people would be happy to.
List of of life changing events
Below is a comprehensive list of life-changing events and some tips to help you cope and get through them.
Romantic relationships
Romantic relationships are included in the list of life changing events because these situations tend to leave a mark on you.
Falling in love
Your heart skips a beat when you see this person. Heck, even just thinking about them makes you feel giddy inside.
You realize that there’s someone out there who holds an intimate connection with you, and can understand who you really are, without judgment.
Falling in love’s a life changing event for most people, and it can affect you either positively or negatively.
If your relationship is going well, you become more passionate and motivated to achieve your goals. This special person has become your source of inspiration, someone who makes you want to be better.
There’s excitement that surrounds you, and you start fantasizing about your future with the other person.
You’re craving for new adventures with this person, and you can’t wait to deepen the bond you have with them.
Now, falling in love can make you change for the better, but it can also make you change for the worse.
Wanting to spend as much time as possible with your special someone can lead you to become overly dependent on them.
- Obsessive thoughts, possessiveness, and jealousy may also permeate your relationship.
- And since you’ve made them your entire world, you may begin to neglect your other priorities.
You begin to neglect yourself.
TIP: Remember that they’re your partner, not your savior. Learn how to stand on your own two feet, so you don’t lose yourself in your relationships.
Aim for interdependence. Find a balance between spending time with your partner and still having enough time for yourself.
Marriage
Being married to someone is a complete test of one’s growth. Unlike boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, marriage requires both parties to exert more effort.
However, no marriage is perfect. It’s not going to be smooth sailing every single time.
You grow as a person in your marriage because you need to consider each other when making a decision. You and your spouse should be working as a team, and not treat each other as competition.
If entered into for the right reasons (and these reasons are subjective) with the right person at the right time, marriage can be sheer bliss. It can bring so much into your life and benefit each half in numerous ways.
But, the reality is that not all marriages are destined to last.
Some people experience more negative stress when married and may prefer to be single.
There are many factors as to why a marriage may be a negative life-changing event for you.
If it brings out the worst in you – making you walk away from your own dreams and ambitions, causing you to lose interest in your hobbies, forcing you to cut off your friends, etc.- then there’s something wrong.
Maybe you’re not suited for marriage. Or you’re not compatible with your spouse. Perhaps you’re in an abusive relationship.
TIP: If you find that you’re somehow less now that you’re married and you’re not sure if staying with your spouse is the best decision for you, then please seek professional help.
Divorce
Going through a divorce is difficult, even if both parties agree to part ways. The entire process can be draining for all concerned.
After all, divorce affects every member of the family, even and especially, the children
If you experience this, it can be a huge turning point in your life.
It can lead you to find yourself again, or it can leave you down in the dumps.
For example, getting divorced from an abusive spouse is freeing and takes a lot of weight off your shoulders. In this case, you could say that divorce is a positive experience.
But divorce can also be an extremely negative experience, especially if it happens out of the blue. You may think your marriage is going well and everything is great.
Then, you get notified that your spouse has filed for a divorce.
As divorce triggers huge life changes and brings up more hurts, you may find yourself plunging into major depression.
TIPS: If you find yourself unable to function and bounce back, find a support group and consult a mental health professional.
A support group can help you avoid feeling alone, while a mental health professional can give you the tools you need to cope and heal.
If you have a family member or a friend who’s going through a divorce, be sure to look out for them.
Widowhood
A spouse’s death can be an overwhelming loss.
Not only do you have to contend with pain from losing a loved one, but you’re also expected to deal with stressors brought about by their passing. Finances, insurance, legalities, burial services, etc. – all these you have to sort out while grieving your spouse’s death.
Below are some suggestions to help you pull through.
- Allow yourself to grieve. Let your feelings flow naturally.
Some people need a longer time to mourn, and that’s okay. But do take note if you’ve been mourning for too long.
If it’s been a while and painful emotions seem to worsen, you may need a mental health professional’s help to navigate complicated grief or heal unresolved issues.
That’s also okay and is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Getting support to help you heal is actually a brave step forward.
Also, remember that denial is normal in the early stages of grief, but you can’t stay there. At some point, you’ll have to accept that your spouse is gone.
Don’t pressure yourself though. Take baby steps in order to move on.
Finally, keep in mind that moving on doesn’t mean erasing the memories you had with your partner., It is simply accepting your new reality while honoring all that you had.
Some widows or widowers choose not to date anymore.
Others loved how marriage enhanced their lives and immediately start looking for a new partner. Either one is okay.
You may find grief support groups helpful too. Or you could spend more time with your loved ones. If you have children, then this can be an opportunity to restructure or strengthen your relationship with them.
And, of course, I always recommend getting counselling, if necessary.
Children
Having children is a truly life-changing event.
When a child joins your family, your priorities shift, your dreams change. And your world starts revolving around the little bundle of joy smiling beatifically at you.
But the arrival of a child isn’t always a positive.
Having children is definitely a fork in the road. It tests your decision-making and coping abilities.
Birth
This life changing event is either wonderful and terrifying.
Sometimes, it’s both.
Pregnancy itself can be an adventure filled with joy or pain.
How you got pregnant, in the first place, can also go either way.
If a child is conceived in love, planned for, and wanted, the whole experience is often positive. Never mind the physical discomfort that accompanies pregnancy. It’s all worth it.
But if a child is conceived without love (for example, in the case of rape), this colors the entire experience. A would-be mother may even decide not to continue with the pregnancy. The experience is tinged with fear, pain, and anger.
And of course, childbirth itself causes a lot of anxiety and distress – regardless of how your pregnancy went. It’s something indescribable to someone who’s never experienced it.
Only you will remember and relive your experience while giving birth. And while a healthy newborn is everyone’s goal, that shouldn’t mean that your experience as the person giving birth should be overlooked.
You may also experience postpartum depression (PPD) after giving birth. Make sure to let your doctor assess you as it can certainly impact your qualify of life.
While exercise, enough sleep, and a healthy diet can certainly help, PPD is no joke You need to make sure that you’re getting the support you need.
Adoption
The adoption process is often tedious and stressful to all concerned, including the child.
Your application could be denied, triggering disappointment and shame.
The child you’re adopting may not wish to be adopted, preferring instead to find or stay with their biological parent.
Adoption stress is a real thing, and here are some ways to help you cope with it:
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Recognize and stay away from triggers.
- Prepare your house for your child.
- Don’t overthink it.
Be kind to yourself.
And remember that any emotions you experience during the adoption process is valid.
If necessary, make sure to reach out for support.
Miscarriage or loss of a child
Experiencing a miscarriage or a loss of a child is incredibly heartbreaking.
You start looking back at the events leading up to your loss. And you begin to wonder – could you have done something differently? What went wrong?
You second-guess every decision and then you begin blaming yourself.
These feelings are completely valid and normal.
It takes some time to heal from the pain.
When you suffer from a miscarriage, you could experience a wave of different emotions as your body goes through hormonal shifts.
It’s best to take the necessary medicine given to you by your doctor and have someone close by.
Allow yourself to grieve.
Be gentle and kind to yourself.
Join a support group and reach out to mental health professionals to help you out.
The same goes for the loss of a child. It’s literally a parent’s worst nightmare.
If you’re part of a couple, then it could be that both of you might handle this situation differently. You might feel inadequate or helpless because you’re unable to fix your partner’s grieving or the other way around.
The loss of a child could sometimes trigger the deterioration of a marriage as well.
So, try to see each other as a pillar of support instead of the enemy.
It’s best to stick by one another, find a local support group that allows you to open up your experiences and emotions in a healthy manner. And again, get professional help – for each of you and for the both of you as a couple.
Child leaving home
Time flies by very quickly. One minute you see your baby taking his first few steps and the next minute they’re off to university.
There’s no stopping them from becoming an adult. And as adults, they make their own decisions.
You can offer them advice, but ultimately the choice is theirs.
And you need to accept that.
When your child decides to leave home, sometimes you just want to tell them to stay.
But moving out and living independently allows them to grow and become the adult they were meant to be.
This difficult transition can lead to the ‘empty nest syndrome’ which refers to the loneliness and grief you feel when you’re left behind.
Remember that when your child moves out, it doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to them anymore.
Maintain communication with them through text messages or online chats.
Allow them to make mistakes. Aafter all, you’ve made mistakes yourself too as a young adult. Avoid helicopter parenting, but at the same time let them know that you’re still their safe space.
Don’t take things personally if your children forget to reply to your message or call you back. Life sometimes gets busy and they probably have a lot of things going on.
When they’re starting to live independently, it can be overwhelming for them.
That said, be honest about what you feel – without verging on guilting them into doing what you want. Honest communication is self-love. Using your child’s guilt to direct their actions is simple manipulation.
Now that you have much space and free time, consider what you were like and who you were before parenthood.
You have an entire personality outside of being a parent.
Go do the things you’ve always wanted and enjoy the peace that you have in your home now.
Allot time to focus on yourself.
Think of all the hobbies you couldn’t do back when your children were little and needed your full attention.
Finally, connect with your inner self by really focusing on who you are and accepting all the quirks that make you uniquely you.
Medical
Below are some instances of medical life changing events that can either be positive or negative.
Menopause
Your body goes through hormonal changes when transitioning to menopause, causing temporary issues. Women who’ve experienced menopause describe it as having your period – but ten times worse.
Menopause can cause a variety of symptoms like mood swings, irritability, hot flashes, etc.
You can be a bit more sensitive and vulnerable than usual. And that’s okay because this is a natural part of life.
There are some things you can do at home to help you cope.
First, you can meditate.
Meditation helps calm your mind and relax your body.
Second, you can also perform light exercises such as yoga.
This will boost dopamine secretion in your system.
Third, look at your diet. What do you put inside your body? Remember that it affects you inside and out.
Fourth, take some supplements to boost your immune system (although it’s best to consult a doctor for this).
Mood swings and outbursts can be tricky to manage. Worse, this can sometimes cause conflict in your relationships.
If you feel that menopause is creating tension, why not inform the people around you that you’re going through something that’s making you a little bit volatile?
Apologize for snapping at them and resolve to be more careful with the way you talk to them in the future.
You can also release your frustrations through writing or other productive coping mechanisms.
If you feel that you’re losing your control, asking for help from a mental health professional may do the trick.
Mental health
Regardless of your social status, race, age, gender, or religious orientation, it’s very important to take care of your mental health.
You shouldn’t feel any shame or guilt for experiencing extreme sadness, experiencing breakdowns, or having intrusive thoughts.
This affects everyone and anyone.
You aren’t alone.
What you can do is to find a doctor (or a therapist or consultant) you’re comfortable with and ask for help.
Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability to them. They need your honest feedback if they’re going to help you manage any mental health issues you may have.
If you’re not open to the idea of seeing someone, then there are self-help ways you can do at home.
This article provided for general information only. They are not intended to, and do not, amount to advice which you should rely on. They are not in any way an alternative to specific advice.
You can meditate, journal, engage in hobbies that take the stress or thoughts out of your mind.
Avoid placing yourself in triggering situations, but cultivate the ability to handle the situation, if necessary.
Make a plan to incorporate these self-love activities, so you don’t forget even when life throws you curveballs.
You can look for support groups, whether online or in person.
Sharing experiences with someone going through something similar to you brings reassurance and provides a safe space for you.
Addiction
Addiction doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
It means you need help.
Recovery isn’t easy.
Progress isn’t linear.
And so you may feel guilt and disappointment.
This is normal.
This life changing event tests your discipline and mental strength. But you don’t need to face this alone.
Being around people you trust and who wouldn’t put you in worse situations is important. They need to be there for you during triggering times and support you without judgment.
Nothing is worse than trying to recover from addiction and being laughed at or blamed for it.
You could be feeling some sort of pressure to recover immediately. But remember to take it a day at a time.
Things like this shouldn’t be rushed.
It couldn’t anyway.
If a relapse happens, don’t beat yourself over it.
It’s frustrating, yes, but this doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
Stand back up and try again.
And reach out for help whenever you need it.
You can opt to join therapy sessions and find a sober support network.
It’s normal to feel alone at first. But joining recovery groups can ease that feeling. It can even motivate and inspire you to keep moving forward.
You are more than your addiction.
It’s up to you to find ways that work best for you.
Terminal illness
Terminal illnesses are painful and heartbreaking. You feel helpless, and your emotions are just all over the place.
Experiencing grief early on is normal. And even if you’re surrounded by family and friends, you tend to feel alone.
You may feel like you’ve done something wrong and that’s why you have a terminal illness.
Blame, guilt and resentment may kick in.
You know you need to accept yourself and your diagnosis.
But it’s hard.
It’s important to have someone to talk to about your feelings.
You may not want to talk to your family and friends, who will be dealing with their own feelings regarding your diagnosis.
This is a good time to look for a counselor who can help you cope.
You may also want to learn everything you can about your terminal illness.
Yes, it sounds morbid. But knowing what to expect may ease your fears.
Preparing for when the time comes will be helpful in other ways.
You may be encouraged to spend every second with purpose:
- How about ticking things on your bucket list?
- Or making sure that your dependents will be left with something to cushion your passing – videos they can watch, letters they can read?
- Maybe even sort your affairs, like your insurance claim or your funeral arrangements?
- Or use the time you have to strengthen your relationships with the people around you, so you can cherish every moment and create good memories with them.
Disability
There are many kinds of disabilities. Sometimes you’re born with them. Other times, they develop later in life.
Coping with a disability may not be easy and the journey of coming to terms with it could take some time, depending on your situation.
There’s no one methodological way of coping with this and the experience is subjective. You may find it easy to accept or you may not.
Your disability may be something that you don’t consider a disability at all. It’s just something that’s a part of you. It doesn’t hamper your life, doesn’t even make much of a difference.
Or, it may be something that has completely flipped your life upside down.
Regardless of how you feel about your disability, you’ll need to be gentle with yourself.
You may have had negative experiences – bullying or discrimination -that made you hate your situation. Sometimes you can’t help but feel insecure about yourself. Both of these are normal.
Remember that your emotions are valid. Nobody can tell you that you just need to get over it. Or you just need to be positive.
Your feelings are your own. They’re all valid, whatever they are because you can’t control what you feel
It’s what you do with them that counts.
Ask for professional help, if you feel powerless and unable to cope.
A mental health professional can help you take an objective look at what you’re going through and take a look at the opportunities in front of you.
There are also support groups for various disabilities you can reach out to so that you don’t feel alone.
Recovery
Recovery can mean a lot of different things for different people.
It can be recovery from addiction, self-harm, or abuse.
If you’ve been through a traumatic experience, you’ll need to recover from it.
Recovering means allowing yourself to heal. And, that takes time.
Rushing your recovery process will likely not work out in the long run, so don’t feel bad if you’re taking a longer time compared to others.
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
In fact, instead of comparing yourself to others, it’s best to focus on yourself.
Maybe that sounds selfish but it really isn’t.
Self-love means knowing that you deserve love and attention as much as the next person.
Only you know exactly who you are and what you’ve been through, and no one can tell you otherwise.
Nobody can invalidate your struggles simply because their experience is different from yours.
Minimize or eliminate any external and internal stressors that could derail your recovery.
If you end up relapsing or if you’re really struggling, know that you aren’t a bad person.
A relapse isn’t the end of a recovery journey. It’s part of it.
Analyze the triggers that made you relapse and take note of them the next time, so you know what to do and how to avoid them.
You’re not a failure because you stumbled along the way.
Recovery takes time, effort, and help.
There’s no shame in seeking professional help, especially after a relapse. Your therapist or doctor won’t judge you for it.
This article provided is for general information only. They are not intended to, and do not, amount to advice which you should rely on. They are not in any way an alternative to specific advice.
Just remember that these ways aren’t meant to be substitutes for medical help. If you feel that you do, take note that if you feel you can’t handle it any further, please see your doctor immediately and seek help.
Professional
Life changing events in a workplace setting – from getting a new job to retirement – can impact your growth negatively or positively. These events are a test of your resilience in the professional industry.
New job
Landing a new job is both exciting and nerve-wracking.
You’re going to be in an entirely new environment with a new boss and new colleagues. You feel pressured to be at your 100% all the time.
These jitters are completely normal and could even encourage you to perform well, transforming your stress into a positive life changing event.
What could you do to help you excel at what you do?
First, be on the lookout for new opportunities that’ll help you grow in your company.
Is there a process that you can streamline? A new product that could earn your company millions? A new partner that could skyrocket you to the top?
These opportunities may come with a set of risks, so you’re going to have to practice your decision-making skills.
Second, avoid bringing personal matters into work as much as possible.
Creating a clear separation will help with your work-life balance as well as ensure that you retain some privacy.
Let’s face it, the workplace can still be unequal and there are some things in your personal life that could negatively impact your professional life.
Third, you know what they say, “high school never ends”?
Well, even at work there’s going to be some drama happening. You’d want to avoid this because this could affect your career and also bring you unwanted stress.
It may take a while to get used to your new job but finding ways to cope with this life changing event will decrease your chances of being overwhelmed in the future.
Promotion
The promotion’s usually a good thing, right? You may be ecstatic with the news of you being recognized for your skill and work ethic, but also experiencing anxiety because of it is normal.
After all, getting promoted means you’ll be handling different priorities, and have greater responsibilities.
So, you really need to prove that you deserve that sweet job position upgrade.
And isn’t that a tad scary?
You might also be worried that some of your colleagues who were eyeing the job you now have might grow envious of you and do something to bring you down. That’s what happens in the movies, so why couldn’t that happen to you?
It’s best to keep your wits about you and be careful with what you say or do. But at the same time, strive not to view everyone with cynicism or suspicion.
Keep everything professional and focus on your tasks. These will improve your work attitude tremendously.
At the same time, don’t try too hard and keep everything balanced.
If you keep an open mind and a positive attitude, you’ll gain a lot of experience and growth in your job.
Redundancy or Termination
Whether it’s redundancy or termination, these seem like negative life changing events at first glance.
Nobody likes to be fired from their work. At the same time, nobody likes feeling bored at the office.
Coping with redundancy might be frustrating because you might feel as if you’re going nowhere.
This is the perfect time to assess your growth and see what’s missing. What’s preventing you from growing?
Maybe it’s time for a change.
If you feel as if it’s a dead-end with your current work, then you could look into resigning (before you get the pink slip).
It’s a big step so before doing so, make sure you already have an opportunity waiting for you somewhere.
If you can afford to wait.
Sometimes you can’t and that’s also okay.
You have to roll with the flow, right?
If quitting isn’t an option? Try switching things up at your workplace and upskill to gain more experience.
Become the person your company can’t afford to lose, and you’ll see greater respect, more money, and even job security.
And if you’ve already gotten fired?
It isn’t a good experience.
For the most part, getting fired means that your role is no longer needed. But the message that it sends is that you yourself (and not just your role) aren’t valuable.
And that sucks.
But you know what?
It’s alright to feel angry or sad about it.
Accepting what you’re feeling, sitting with your emotions, and not judging yourself for feeling angry, embarrassed, ashamed, and rejected can facilitate your transition from a negative to a positive state.
The change in your perspective helps.
But only if you accept and acknowledge your feelings first.
Also, if you’re looking for a silver lining, this might help.
Redundancy or termination can open your life to new opportunities.
You could look for another job where you will be more valued or which is in better alignment with your interests.
Or you can also reinvent yourself by learning new skills so that you’re more equipped for your next position.
Retirement
Retirement may either be a good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it.
You may have wanted it for so long, you could taste freedom in the air.
After years of working 40-70 hours a week, the chance to do nothing but relax all day is something you look forward to.
Or maybe you’ve been dreading it – the long hours of doing nothing but think about the life you’ve lived and the many years ahead of you yet.
Scary, right?
Whether you’re happy or sad, you’ll experience some adjustment once you do retire.
It might be hard to adjust in the beginning, you could catch yourself disoriented with your new schedule.
After years of following almost the same routine every day, what do you do now that you’re retired?
You now have a lot of free time to do things you couldn’t do while you were working.
Take up new hobbies, set small goals, and fix your schedule.
This is important so that you don’t remain stagnant during retirement. Replace your 9-5 with some sports, hobbies, or some traveling.
Live the life you worked so hard for.
Now’s the perfect chance.
Aging
Growing old is inevitable.
As children, we were all excited to grow up. When we get old, we start wishing that time would stop.
Sometimes, we’d even stop celebrating our birthdays.
Aging can sometimes be traumatic, especially when you hit a milestone year (like the 30s).
Maybe you feel unaccomplished and that you’re running out of time to be successful. This is especially true whenever you see someone younger than you who’s so ahead of life.
It’s hard not to feel bad about yourself.
Or could it be that you are indeed super successful yourself but you’re wondering what the point of it all is?
Where else could you go if you’re already at the top?
Even worse, what if you’re already at the top of your career, but you’re not happy? What if you realize this late in your life that you paid too high a price for your status, your fame, your career, your wealth?
The truth is, comparing yourself to others won’t do you any good.
Focus on your own achievements.
You may think you haven’t done anything worthy. But chances are when you look back, you’ll see how much you’ve achieved.
Did you spend 30 years of your life raising accomplished, emotionally intelligent children who think the world of you – all without a life partner?
That’s an achievement.
Did you spend the last five years living with your parents and making sure they were as happy and healthy as they can be in their old age, despite debilitating diseases?
That’s an achievement too.
If you notice, neither of those involve money. Because guess what?
It’s really not all about the money.
Remember the things you’re grateful for, all the hardships and the good times you’ve gone through.
Accept that there are things that you cannot change and that’s okay.
We all have our own pace. Life’s not a sprint. It’s a marathon.
You’re successful in your own way, and you should be proud of that.
Death
Life is temporary.
Nothing’s permanent in this world. So, you’ll have to deal with death at some point.
Death doesn’t just happen.
Usually, something happens before death.
A loved one gets sick or is involved in an accident.
Maybe someone committed suicide or was the victim of a senseless crime.
However it happens, death is often difficult to deal with.
And of all the life changing events that can happen, this is the one that will likely hit you hardest and affect you the longest.
No surprise there, since death is permanent.
What can you do to cope with such a life changing event?
Here are some small tips that could help.
Sickness
For the most part, getting sick is nothing but a hassle.
It’s a minor blip that causes delays with our schedule.
Nobody likes to be sick!
But, what do you do if it’s not?
What if it’s the kind of sickness that ends in death?
How do you cope with a terminal diagnosis? When the doctors tell you that someone you love may not be alive for long?
Or, what if you received the diagnosis? What if the doctors had told you and your family that you no longer have much time left?
Slow down. Rest.
Take time off from work.
Spend as much time with your loved one as you can.
Cram as many good memories as you can in the short time you have left.
We’re all hyperfocused on the hustle and bustle culture of needing to do something all the time. We strive to get rich, to get that promotion with the corner office and the fancy car.
In times like this, we realize the truth:
Life is about love and the people with who we share it with.
So, use this moment to unwind and focus on your health.
And ask for help from a mental health professional.
A terminal diagnosis is a tricky one, so I don’t recommend facing it alone.
Accident
Nobody anticipates an accident.
That’s why this particular life changing event can blindside you completely.
It’s often traumatic. And you cycle through a rollercoaster of emotions in a short amount of time.
What do you do when someone you love dies because of a complete accident? How do you even process that kind of grief?
How do you stop replaying the accident in your head?
Imagine you were going about your daily life and a memory pops into your mind without you even deliberately thinking about it.
Or maybe you’d just gone to sleep and your dreams take a turn for the worse.
Do you have nightmares about the event? Do you wake up drenched in sweat with your heart racing and the echoes of the accident in your mind?
Psychology calls all of these experiences intrusions or intrusive symptoms.
Sometimes, they fade away over time.
Sometimes, they don’t.
If you find that your mind keeps reliving the accident that took the life of your loved one and it’s not going away, please ask for help. Persistent intrusive symptoms are considered a symptom of unresolved trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Suicide
Losing someone to suicide is painful.
You can’t help but blame yourself for their death.
Could you have done something to stop it from happening?
Why did it happen?
Were you not enough of a friend, a lover, a partner, a child?
Sometimes, you look back on the times that you felt like you weren’t there for them.
You could also feel some anger as to why your loved one would commit suicide.
Do they not know that you love them, that you’d be devastated when they died?
You may feel lost in grief, confusion, anger, and heartbreak.
And in this maelstrom of negative emotions, your life will change.
You will change.
Irrevocably.
But ultimately, the sadness of this heartbreaking event will linger for quite some time.
Don’t be harsh on yourself.
And, despite how hard it is, absolve yourself from blame.
Regardless of the state of your relationship with your loved one, you are not the reason for their passing.
Feelings of guilt are common in the family of the person who has died – probably because your mind would always try and think of a way you could have prevented it.
But the truth is, the decision was not yours to make.
In the end, your loved one made the choice.
So, forgive yourself and forgive them as well.
We each have to make our own decisions and live our own lives.
Slowly, you’ll begin to accept their death, heal and move on.
This life changing event will shift your perspective and likely make you more self-aware, more sensitive to how you treat people.
Be there for them.
And be kind too.
You really don’t know what they’re going through and if they need support.
You may think, “Then why don’t they just reach out and ask for support?”.
The truth is, it’s not always that easy.
Fear, helplessness, and insecurity may sometimes be a factor.
So, if you’re trying to cope with suicide, remember to take it easy and to take care of yourself.
If you’re having a tough time coping, please contact a medical professional.
If you’re contemplating suicide, please remember that help is available. Contact any of these hotlines.
If someone is in IMMEDIATE danger, please call your local emergency number (911 in the US).
Homicide and other crime-related deaths cause intense grief.
You may feel powerless because you were unable to help your loved one at the time. Your anger towards the perpetrator is immeasurable.
There’s a lot to unravel here and seeking professional help is highly suggested. It’s not easy finding ways to cope with such a tragedy.
Know that dealing with this kind of trauma will take some time. You may not be able to heal from it immediately. That’s okay. It’s completely understandable.
You might find yourself fearful and anxious. You play scenarios in your head; what if this happens to someone else you love and you can’t prevent it either?
It’s very haunting. And it’s important to have company so that you don’t deal with this alone.
Reach out to support groups for homicide survivors and their families and friends.
Money
How you handle your money can impact where you land in this list of life-changing events:
Windfall
Money doesn’t grow from trees, but what exactly would you do if you suddenly inherited a large sum of cash?
This can be overwhelming in the beginning.
Imagine hitting a lottery jackpot after years of scrimping and saving. What would you do with this sudden change?
The first step is actually to think twice before you do anything, especially if you don’t know anything about financial management in the first place. Otherwise, it could just be money down the drain.
Learn how to manage money well. Jim Rohn used to say, “If someone gives you a million dollars, best you learn to be a millionaire quickly. Or you’re going to lose the money.”
Then, assess your situation. What are your financial needs? o you have any debts? Even more important, do you have any debts that have a high interest?
Prioritizing your needs over your wants is crucial in order to make use of this windfall event wisely.
Let’s say your car needs to be repaired, but you just saw that the Hermes bag you’ve been dying to buy is now available in your local store. Do you get your car in the garage or do you buy a bag?
Which one do you prioritize?
Of course, you don’t need to spend every single penny of your inheritance. You can keep the rest stored in a bank or use it for investments in order to stretch out your cash flow.
If you have a lot of debt, you may want to get a free debt settlement consultation.
Debt
Speaking of debt, it’s one of those life-changing events that are often negative.
Debt not only affects your credit score and your finances. It can take a toll on your mental and even physical health as well.
There’s anxiety, fear, anger, resentment. The list goes on. All the emotions you feel during this hurdle are understandable. You think to yourself how lax you’ve been with handling your expenses.
With so much stress and worry, you find yourself skipping meals and not being able to sleep properly. Even worse, you get sick physically and emotionally. Debt can truly cripple you.
It’s hard to not blame yourself when this happens. Oh, if only you hadn’t bought this or that. If only you had been smarter with money. You cycle through alternative scenarios that could’ve prevented this from happening.
But, there’s no need to dwell so much on the past because it’s not going to change your future.
Getting out of debt may seem like climbing a mountain, but it’s not impossible. You just need to work on it. If you weren’t taking your money seriously then, it’s time you start now.
Learning how to budget your money will help you in the long run. Impulse purchases are really tempting, but now that you’ve faced the struggles of debt, you know that it’s no funny business.
While you’re budgeting your expenses, it’s also important to build yourself an emergency fund. This is commonly 3-6 months’ worth of your salary. It’s only for emergencies, hence the name.
Having an emergency fund provides a safety net for you to fall back on just in case you experience another situation that probably needs a lot of money.
Remember, don’t rush the process. Relax, for as long as you know what you’re doing, you’re going to get there in time.
Bankruptcy
They say money can’t buy us happiness, but not having money can bring us problems and stress.
Bankruptcy isn’t an easy topic. Most people feel embarrassed when they file for bankruptcy.
Not only do you lose money, but some of your possessions as well. And it hurts to let them go, especially when you have an emotional attachment towards it.
This is even worse when you have a business because losing a business is almost like losing a child. You devote a lot of time and energy (and money!) making it grow, only to find it leading to an unfortunate end.
Going through bankruptcy is a life changing event, affecting your current social status and future purchasing power.
You may go through a lot of pain, fear, anger, and resentment.
But while easier said than done, there are always ways for you to curb such damagingly negative emotions.
First, you need to acknowledge your feelings. If you’re embarrassed, accept it. If you’re angry, find a healthy way of releasing it. You must let go of these emotions or they’ll poison you from the inside.
Next, you can talk to someone who could offer you support. This may be a loved one, who won’t judge you. Or you could book yourself a counseling session to ensure that you look after your mental health.
You may also want to talk to a financial professional who specializes in debt. Sure, telling someone you’re filing for bankruptcy is kinda embarrassing, but it’ll give you relief to have someone supportive listen to you.
They would help you out in practical terms too, which is worth its weight in gold.
That’s because developing a financial plan is key.
If you’re basically at rock bottom, financially, you want to make sure that your next steps will lead you up. Taking note of your previous mistakes and evaluating them, will help you make wiser decisions in the future.
Personal situations
These situations might not all be applicable to you, but they may still be some things to take note of.
Success
Everyone’s finding their own path to success. The great thing is that there’s no specific formula for this. It all depends on you.
Unfortunately, this can sometimes cause anxiety and stress, especially if you don’t know where to begin.
You may feel discouraged. That’s perfectly normal and it’s actually a sign for you to keep pushing on.
Maybe you feel like you haven’t achieved anything, but when you look back, you’ll be able to see how much progress you’ve made!
Celebrate your wins, whether big or small. Don’t deprive yourself of acknowledging your achievements, since these are benchmarks of your growth.
Also, keep in mind that success can change people – for better or for worse. You may notice that you’re being treated differently now that you’ve achieved success, but this shouldn’t have to be a hindrance to your continuous growth.
Continue being your true self and everything will fall into place.
Another good way to cope with success is by helping others. Your story could become someone’s source of inspiration.
Remember: Everyone’s just trying to make it through life, so it’s better to not treat this as a competition.
Failure
Failure isn’t pleasant. It’s often accompanied by a sense of bitterness, anger and resentment.
But it’s not completely bad because failure is necessary to achieve growth. You can’t achieve success without having experienced failure.
Here’s the thing, it’s normal to feel down and ashamed when you fail, but guess what? Every single successful person has failed as well. At least once, before they succeeded.
Of course, sometimes, knowing all this isn’t enough. The silver lining doesn’t help. And that’s okay. It’s okay to embrace your feelings as long as you don’t wallow in them for too long.
If you find that you’re not coping at all, please reach out for help and support. The right professional can do wonders and assist you in turning your life around.
You could also opt to use this as a lesson for improvement. You know better this time.
Take a look at your goals again and evaluate them. Is there something you’re missing?
What did you learn from your failure?
Incorporate it into your game plan for success in the future.
Fame
Being in the limelight has its pros and cons, its own set of responsibilities and struggles. How do you deal with fame so that it doesn’t ruin you?
Some people let fame get through their head, they develop an entirely different personality and may have even forgotten the people who were there for them before fame arrived.
Remember where you came from and try not to get your head in the clouds. Sure, being famous is fun because you get recognized by people and there’s this endless stream of external validation from strangers.
But fame can go away – gradually or in an instant.
It’s always good to stay humble and remember that kindness costs nothing.
Also, now that you’ve possessed a certain amount of fame, there will be more people that care about what you do and where you are.
Don’t reveal too much of yourself and keep your personal life private.
There’s also added pressure when you make mistakes because there are eyes watching you. We’re not perfect and mistakes are bound to happen, so the best way to handle this is to accept your mistakes and learn from them.
Lastly, be grateful for your success and use it for good. Being famous has some perks, but avoid using this to take advantage of people.
Midlife crisis
When approaching the middle-age, it’s common to do some self-reflecting. Looking back at your life, you nitpick on certain memories and analyze them thoroughly.
However, some of these realizations may bring you stress and anxiety. That’s why it’s called a crisis.
There are simple ways to cope with midlife crises.
Have you practiced gratitude lately? Look at all of your memories, some were happy, some sad. But, it’s shaped you to become the person you are today.
Expressing gratitude towards others also helps. Especially if the other person has made a huge impact on your life. It’s a good way to connect with someone and to deepen the bond you have with them.
Having midlife blues means you subconsciously yearn for change.
If your idea of change is simply repainting the walls of your room, then do it! Now’s the perfect time to do these things in order to get out of that slump that’s keeping you from moving forward.
Encourage yourself to live a little and to not take life too seriously.
You’re more than just your day job.
You’ve got passion, dreams, and skill.
It’s time to do the things that’ll make you happy if you haven’t yet.
Side Note: If your idea of change is something a little more drastic (or riskier), pause and consider whether this change is really for the best.
Final Thoughts
These are lists of some life changing events that can be applicable to you. Finding healthy coping mechanisms is a great way to ensure that you can handle and manage your stress.
